Stop the presses it turns out the Neo-cons were right all along!
Saddam Hussein did indeed have weapons of mass destruction, not in Iraq...but IN OUR OWN COUNTRY! Weapons cleverly disguised as good ole’ American truck stop pizza pie! More over with duplicitous use of marketing and graphic design, he has apparently been feeding WMD’s to us for years. Lured in with tales of "all toppings no extra charge”…millions of Americans have been consuming the treacherous former dictator’s poisonous concoction of artery clogging cheese and reaganomic servings of “vegetables” with a smile on their faces! One look into Saddam’s glib continence as he tosses another wheel of death into our innocent gaping mouths and you know this war on terror must be won and soon!
Proud to be an American my ass! That isn’t Lugi and that ain’t no American pie.
True it is probable that the administration has kept these facts secret until now to protect methods and means of the brave patriots collecting intelligence on our behalf in pizzerias the world over. But we at Electrosports Monthly would be poor stewards of liberty if we let you be fooled for one minute more.
Rest assured with very little sacrifice or disruption to our daily lives, one day America’s enemies will be cut into warring slices, and be tossed like a discarded pizza box into the trash bin of history. That is assuming we don’t die from the various complications of obesity first.
Who knew one pizza box could say so much about modern life?